Did you know that women are more likely to receive feedback that they are “intimidating,” “too aggressive,” or “bossy” when they negotiate? Thus, they are branded as non-feminine, considered to be a “problematic” colleague, and sanctioned accordingly.
This is one of the challenges women face and it speaks directly to me.
I remember vividly as I was giving a status report /update to one of my male managers in a very matrix organization where I worked. I was very passionate of the process improvements that needed to be made. I remember him saying “Chioma softer”, “please go easy”, “tone down your voice” with his face scrunched up in a frown as I raised pertinent topics and issues.
I hardly turn on my camera so my facial expressions could not be seen, but his camera was on and I was able to see his face, unfortunately it was not accommodating.
Make no mistake, I am not saying that I am less open to a feedback or outrightly rejecting what would be his own opinion. I truly appreciate constructive feedback because it is a crucial tool for self reflection.
However, in this particular case, I very much only wanted to be heard… and somewhere in the layers of my gut was this feeling of where I was told to be different. To slightly loose to my voice.
